| 1. |
Rebecca (about NASA removing protecting the earth as part of their mission): "So now what's gonna happen when the aliens come?"
Jay: "The Raliens will protect us." |
| 2. |
Perry: "And I would also like to say that, uh, regardless of what my skeptical colleagues on the show might say about me. I am, in fact, misunderstood."
Rebecca: "You mean you're not just a depressed asshole? Like Sandie, misunderstood."
Jay: "Perry do you see dead people? Do you see mob people, who do you see?" |
| 3. |
Perry (after a listener email asks who the British lady is who intros the podcast): "That's me, I introduce the podcast. I do a voice. 'Welcome to the Skeptics' bloody Guide."
Perry: "Who is it Jay, who is that woman?"
Jay: "The world does not need to know who that incredibly sexy woman is." |
| 4. |
Perry (the classic): "Any monkey worth his salt would give any bird a beak-flip"
Jay: "No, Perry I'm telling you that eagle could come down on that monkey and break his neck before he knew what time it was."
Perry: "Nonesense. He'd grab him by the beak and he'd go BAM BAM BAM BAM! That's what he would do, give him a beak-flip!"
Rebecca: "Wow, that was the most intellectual argument I've ever heard."
Steve: "The article also says that the eagle eats deer..."
Rebecca: "Deer?! I would love to see that. I would love to see an eagle swoop down and grab a deer."
Jay: "Don't come crying to me when an eagle comes down and sticks his talons in your back."
Perry: "Didn't you see King Kong? Grab that bird by the beak and tear it open YEAAAAARRR-CRACK! Come on."
Perry: "Ornithologists are all misanthropes" |
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| 5. |
Perry (after Steve explained the Bernoulli effect): "I think the final thing to say on this intruguing topic is that the Bernoulli effect would certainly have no impact on our monkey/bird battle because the first move of the monkey is gonna be to tear those wings right off. And Bernoulli will be right out the window with the wings. Next case."
Steve: ".... but the whole point.."
Rebecca: "Way to move passed that Steve." |
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| 6. |
Jay: "I'm not just trying to plug us, but I think our show would be a very good way for students to learn critical thinking."
Rebecca: "Except for the cursing."
Steve: "Yeah except for all the damn cursing."
Rebecca: "Screw you Steve!"
Steve: "A couple of school teachers have contected us and asked us if they could use one or more episodes of our show in their class as a demonstration of critical thinking. And we said go to hell!" |
| 7. |
Jay (after Rebecca says she wishes recycling was true): "What a dork." |
| 8. |
Rebecca (after Bob says he wishes there was an afterlife): "What if it's an eternity with Perry?"
Bob: "Well that would be Hell now wouldn't it?"
Rebecca: "If you ask me I'd rather have an eternity with recycling than an eternity with Perry." |
| 9. |
Jay: "If aromatherapy really worked then my own farts would kill me."
Rebecca: "I was about to say you're such a girl but nevermind, you're such a boy!"
Jay: "Yeah yeah, you know if a good smell can make you feel good and heal you, my farts would kill people and I would be worse then that woman who killed her kids, I'd be killing everybody"
Steve: "They'd have to put you in solitary"
Rebecca: "Then he'd kill himself." |
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| 10. |
Steve: "ESP would be cool but I wouldn't want ESP if you had to make those stupid faces." |
| 11. |
Jay (after Steve tells him he shouldn't hyperextend his knuckles following an injury): "Well you don't have to get technical with me."
Rebecca: "Stop being right all the time Steve, god." |
| 12. |
Steve: "The reason why the male testicles hang low is to make it cooler, to get it away from our body heat. Even at body heat our sperm becomes inactivated."
Jay: "Steve I thought that was for women to touch them."
Steve: "That's just a happy side-effect. That's what we call a delightful epi-phenomenon." |
| 13. |
Steve (to Perry): "Yeah but between your legs is gonna give you the same temperature as inside the body."
Rebecca: "If you've ever been between a woman's legs you might know that... I'm just saying. You can take that out in post-production." |
| 14. |
Perry: "Frankly I thought I had better familiarity with my testicles" |
| 15. |
Rebecca (after Steve explains why testicles drop): "Yeah don't worry Jay, it'll happen one day." |