| 1. |
Rebecca (about the SGU having over 1 million downloads): "Did anybody bring champagne?"
Evan: "I started an hour ago." |
| 2. |
Perry: "The universe is pretty big you know? It's pretty big. There's probably a lot of class M planets out there."
Bob: "Alright Spock"
Rebecca: "Nerds."
Evan: "That planet with all the nazis running around, that's a class M planet." |
| 3. |
Evan: "Steve does that mean that the people or the patients who would conceivably be taking these, if it ever reaches that point. They'll have to be on these for the rest of their life to keep up with that right?"
Steve: "Yes, exactly."
Bob: "Oh, screw that!" |
| 4. |
Rebecca (about creationists never changing their mind): "I beg to differ. I believe that there was one Doubting Thomas who changed his mind, and I'm pretty sure he was a creationist. QED Perry." |
| 5. |
Perry (about online journals): "Where does that leave print journals?"
Steve: "They're stuggling to figure where their place is in all of this. Seriously, although, luckily people still like to read on the can."
Jay: "You pull out a tube of toothpaste, you read that. Anything other than NOT reading."
Bob: "Oh my god it wasn't just me?"
Rebecca: "What is with you guys? I've never read a single thing on the toilet."
Bob: "You are NOT human!"
Rebecca: "No I'm not a boy. This has gotta be a guy thing. And ok let's throw this out to the audience. Please, I have actually wondered about this. I'm pretty sure that this is just a guy thing. Girls, first of all girls don't poop."
Jay: "In Germany they do baby. Oh yeah!"
Rebecca: "Aside from that fact. Girls just don't spend that much time on the toilet. I think we get in, we get it done and then we get out."
Evan: "Then why do you go to the toilet in groups?"
Rebecca: "Because we have to talk."
Perry: "It's like you can cheer each other on. 'Go for that piss baby you look like a race horse!'"
Rebecca: "Wait, just so we're clear. You just quoted Andrew Dice Clay??"
Perry: "He happens to be a brilliant man. But I just want to say I dunno about reading. I am on the cutting edge. I have a television in my bathroom. Thank you very much."
Bob: "Wooooooowww."
Rebecca: "Shut up, no you don't."
Perry: "I can get absorbed into a program. I can sit there for an hour."
Bob: "If you can't hear I'm clapping. A TV in the bathroom,"
Jay: "As in awe of you as I am. As incredible as that is. It's not good for the o-ring to sit on the can for more than an hour."
Rebecca: "Perry you are my exact opposite in every way."
Perry: "Sometimes I lounge in the tub for hours, you know, with a good movie on."
Rebecca: "I don't even own a television, you got a television in your bathroom."
Perry: "I got 5 TVs in this house. You gotta monitor what's going on, you know?"
Steve: "Perry and Rebecca are like matter and anti-matter, is that what you're saying?"
Rebecca: "We are. We can never be in the same room or the universe will collapse."
Perry: "And you never got a marriage proposal from me."
Rebecca: "That's true. I'm not complaining."
Bob: "Well it won't really collapse. It'll just burst in a you know, bunch of gamma rays. But still nasty."
Perry: "I urge everyone to get a TV for their can. Thank you."
Evan: "Or a toilet for your computer."
Rebecca: "Yeah why don't you just get a toilet installed in your armchair Perry?"
Steve: "Don't give him any ideas!"
Jay: "I realize you are more and more like Cartman."
Perry: "I don't even think he's got a TV in his bathroom."
Rebecca: "No but if he grew up and were real, he would." |
| 6. |
Evan: "I actually spoke with another Alcor client recently and he had something very interesting to say, I'll play it for you now" (plays hilarious soundclip) |
Download |
| 7. |
Perry: "We thawed out another one for dinner!" |
| 8. |
Jay: "If I was Bush, and I masterminded this whole conspiracy. The moment that I was told about the 9/11 crashes, I wouldn't be reading kids a children's book and have that dumb expression on my face when I heard the news. I would've planned that moment. I would've been doing something so cool that I would have looked in the camera and looked like James Bond. You know? I certainley wouldn't have been like, when they told him he was like. 'wha?'"
Bob: "The president was lifting weights when he heard the news."
Rebecca: "He dashed to his Lamborghini and took off for the White House."
Evan: "He slid down the poll to the Batcave." |
| 9. |
Rebecca: "A fossilized rainforest in Illinois? I like the sound of that. What would that look like?"
Jay: "Hello Bob. Is this Bob?"
Rebecca: "I know, I'm doing the Bob thing."
Bob: "Get on with it."
Evan: "It's called the Bob move." |
| 10. |
Perry: "Yes I believe China will control the weather. If it doesn't cooperate they'll have it shot." |
| 11. |
Steve (about China seeding clouds to control weather): "So they used little packets of silver iodide in the coulds to force them to provoke them to rain basically."
Rebecca: "Little packets. I wonder if that looks like Sweet-N-Low." |
| 12. |
Jay (about the fossilized forest found in a coal mine): "Yeah they found a frozen guy down there too. He got up and he started singing showtunes it was amazing." |
| 13. |
Jay: "I'm a science news whore." |
| 14. |
Rebecca (about everyone winning science or fiction again): "We're gonna have to start throwing games just to make Steve feel better. Duh well I don't know Steve I guess kittens have 5 legs now. I'll go with that one." |